![]() ![]() If marriage wasn't forever, why should anything else be? It really skewed the way I looked at guys and what I thought ‘love’ was. I was devastated as a child when my dad drove away, and I will never forget standing in our front yard literally screaming, ‘Come back!’ I didn't understand what was happening, and my three-year-old sister certainly didn't understand…I would honestly say I ‘survived’ the divorce, but the fall-out wasn't pretty: Lots of acting out and ‘unsettled’ behavior. A 50-year-old wife and mother whose parents shared custody and got along well after their divorce told me: The following excerpts from my book were written by contributors who were not from abusive homes, nor did they get dragged through an “ugly divorce.” They lived under custody arrangements that kept them in contact with both their mother and father throughout childhood.Īs children, many contributors were shocked and confused by the disintegration of their families, and they experienced the continuing fallout through the years. In compiling the responses of 70 contributors for my book, Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak, I learned that not only does the pain of divorce continue into adulthood, but the suffering is not lessened even if the child experienced a “good divorce.” ![]() The answers I received in a virtual avalanche of pain were a complete shock to me, as the child of an intact marriage. I eventually wrote up a brief questionnaire, appealing on social media for volunteers. Almost on a whim, but primarily because a close friend of mine had revealed her still-unfolding struggles with the long-ago divorce of her parents, I started asking adult children of divorce about their experiences. ![]()
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